Where to go and what to do

The future is so unclear and unknown. There is only One who knows what it holds for my life and yours. We must trust and depend on Him to show us the way and light the path before us when we are not sure which way to go. His plans are greater than any plans we might make for ourselves. Sometimes He wants us to go in a different direction, a way we said we would never go. He wants to push us and make us the best we can be to serve His purpose for our lives on this earth. We need to wait for Him to open the door for us instead trying to push through a slightly cracked window or a door that is being closed.

It’s hard when you thought you had chosen the right direction only to continually realize that it was not the way you were supposed to go. It leaves you feeling uncertain and having yet another decision to make, one of which you do not want to make because you might make the wrong one once again. You hope that the next decision you make will be the correct one and that it is the path He has set out before you and the door that He has opened for you, not one you have opened for yourself.

Maybe thinking about something that you always said you would not do or going to a place you said you would not go. Being able to go to a school surrounded by Christians instead of the a placed which revolves around the world and all its worldly ways is a better choice than being continually sucked dry by the typical public university.

I don’t know if this is the path I am supposed to be taking but that is where I am heading now. A place I said I would never go to school for a degree I said I did not ever want to get. Sometimes God really gets you when you said you do not want to do something…! I am very thankful that through all these decisions I have to make, I have a family who loves and supports me. Who are there to encourage and lend a listening ear and a voice of opinion when I do not know what to do.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”

– Proverbs 3:5-6

Sept 7, 2010 - Kelly Isner

Future

How do I want to live out the rest of my life? I want to be the best person I can be. I want to be where God wants me to be, doing what I was created to do. I want to be the best wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, teacher and stranger that I can be. I want people to see His light shining through me as I go about my everyday tasks. I don’t want to be the grumpy lady people run from.

I will try to be friendly to everyone, even those people I do not care to be in company with or those who are irritating me at the moment. I will try everyday to be loving, caring and kind to my husband and children, even when they are on my nerves. One thing Chris has taught me recently is to talk about it. No matter how mad you might think the other will get, it is always better to have it out in the open and be able to settle it then to keep getting more and more frustrated over the same thing. Talking about things is something I struggle with so that is something I have to improve on to become the best I can be.

I do not know what my future holds. Where I will be or what I will be doing but I cannot wait to see what it holds. I know it will be amazing with God in control. He has already blessed me beyond measure with my family, friends, and fiancé.

www.katherineweeks.com

Aug 8, 2010 - Kelly Isner

Follow

Follow your loving Father and He will show you the way to go.

Going about life on your own doing as you wish will only lead you further from where you need to be.
Listen to His calling, no matter where they take you. Sometimes they may seem unknown or scary but if it’s the Lord’s will, you know He’ll be right there with you leading you through all the difficult times.

Sometimes all it takes is that very instant that you say, “I don’t know what I’m going to do, it’s up to You now Lord” for things to begin to fall into place and sometimes it takes a little longer.

With finding Chris it took a long time, but God was always preparing me to meet him, even though I didn’t know it. He placed the right people into my life to lead me to the right place to meet the love of my life. Though it still took many years, even after I moved to the same area as him to meet him. It took until I finally truly and honestly said that I was finished with boys, there weren’t any in Ocala for me and I was waiting until I moved to NC for school. It wasn’t until I told God it was up to Him for me to find my love that I actually was blessed with him. (BTW-There really wasn’t anyone in Ocala but just outside it in a little town called Anthony.)

I spent many days and nights the month or two before I met Chris talking with God about my future and my husband. Opening my mind to new opportunities and ideas. Changing what I thought were my dreams into waiting for God to show me His plan. His plan so far has been a little different than mine but oh so much better, as I knew it would be!

I’m going to marry an amazing man, whom God has blessed me with. He just so happens to be a pilot, which never crossed my mind in my plans. My dream of living in the mountains is still possible, just in a different state then I was thinking about. My hopes and dreams of marrying someone so special is becoming reality. The passing childhood thought of growing up by military bases and marrying a military man is still possible (we’re seeking His plan on this one). My dream of teaching is becoming closer and scarier! God allowed me to go to my “dream” school and showed me that that was my passing plan and maybe not His.

Following His plan isn’t always easy or fun, but in the end it is well worth the adventure and sometimes heartache that is needed to get you to where He wants you to be.

Be accepting of change.

Know His plan is best.

Listen to Him and allow Him to lead your heart.

You never know where He will lead you, but it will always be worth the unknown!

Church across the street

June 22, 2010 - Kelly Isner

Flying things

Today I was at FSDB (Florida School for the Deaf and Blind) and I realized just how much I take advantage of being able to hear. Even little things like hearing the airplanes and helicopters flying overhead. The girls and I were outside watching the baseball team practice and like I always do, when I heard a “flying thing,” I looked up to see what it was. One of the times it was a helicopter, but I couldn’t just say “hey, hear the helicopter? Can you find it?” or “what’s that noise?” I actually had to tell them what it was and point it out to them because they couldn’t hear it. Luckily I had looked up the sign for “helicopter” not too long ago!

I love to hear them flying and trying to spot them in the air! I guess growing up in Va. Beach with the jets all around and spending lots of time at the airport helped me along in this love. I always knew I was back in Va. Beach once I heard those jets roaring above me, it was almost the best part of going back there to visit! Then moving to Stafford by Quantico with the helicopters and war games being played all the time also added to the noise effect. I just recently discovered that all of that was also apparently preparing me for my future with my wonderful man and favorite pilot in the world! God knew that I’d end up with a pilot, even though it never had crossed my mind, and He set me in places that I would be surrounded by “flying things” to develop a fondness of them. He was preparing my heart for what was to come because He knew it’d be taken by a handsome pilot :-)

Taking advantage of my hearing was also discovered when I was trying to explain things to the girls, either with homework or with playing cards. I could explain it in English but I couldn’t explain it in ASL, especially it 5, 6, and 7 year olds. Explain "Opinion" to a 6 year old in ASL….I couldn’t come up with how to do it! Explain why an Ace is higher than a Queen when Q comes later in the alphabet the A! hahah that’s the best one to explain, I’ve tried so many times! Oh well, I love being with those girls. They are so adorable. A lot of the time I can’t follow their conversations because they have little hands and sign really quickly, but I’m catching on and as long as they keep being patient with me when I don’t understand them, we’ll be in good shape! They were so excited to see me today and they knew I had the “rabbit game” (my Easter bunny playing cards I got for $1 at Target) with me.

Remember the little things that you sometimes take advantage of and thank God for them, you never know when they might be taken away. Have patience when you try to explain things, some things are just not meant to be explained, or understood, now, until later, or ever. Smile, like I do, when you see a “flying thing” because you remember that God is always preparing you for where you’re going, whether you realize it or not.

Chris Flying

March 1, 2010 - Kelly Isner

Friendships/relationships

We all need friends in our lives; they are the spice of life. Friends either bring us up or tear us down. People need both kinds of friends in their lives. Always be aware of the ones that tear you down, guarding your heart from them, Proverbs 4:23 (God) – “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” knowing they are there to hurt you. Although it is not fun, if we do not get hurt, how will we grow?

There is a huge place inside a woman’s heart for deep, meaningful relationships. In these relationships, women experience the great joys and sorrows of life. This is a safe place for women to be women. “Friendships need to be nurtured and guarded and fought for… We love our friends by pursuing them” (Eldredge). Spend time with friends, honestly and truly listening to them.

Women are jealous, loyal, and devoted to their friends. We are jealous when others come in and “take over” our friends. We are devoted to the things and people we love. Women do not “talk smack” about someone else’s friend. If a woman hears someone talking about their friend, it’s not going to be pretty. Friendships are God’s way of letting us care for others. He shows His trust in us through giving us someone else’s heart to protect, care for, and love.

We need friends to help us through tough times. They are our comfort and support, especially if they are Christian friends who are praying for us. Sometimes our friends have been through the same thing that we are going through and we do not even know it. I went through a tough time in my life, not knowing why, until I met a girl, within a year of it happening, that was going through a similar situation. It was then that I realized why I had gone through it. She was there for me and I was there for her; we were able to support each other through some of the most difficult times of our teenage years.

“True friendship is opposed” (Eldredge). There is always someone who is going to hurt us. Someone who’s goal is not for our happiness but for their own. Although that is true, it is also true that no one was created to live life alone. We need friends no matter how hard or easy life is at the moment. At times when life is going smoothly, prepare for some kind of destruction. It is then that we will need our friends; if we have alienated them, then we are going to be on our own.

Everyone faces the struggle of not making the friendship all about them. The true goal should be to share our lives with others and truly listen to their needs. When we open ourselves up, there is always the chance that we will be hurt. Giving people our heart and hoping that they will not break it is one of the most difficult things to do. No matter what happens, God will be there to take all of that hurt. “God wastes nothing. Not our joys, not our sorrows – nothing” (Nicole Johnson). There is a purpose and a plan with everything that happens. He will reveal the purpose in His timing, and it is only then that we will understand why we were hurt. Most of the time it is making us stronger people in the end.

Healthy friends are the kind of friends who try and help us achieve our goals and dreams. They want to see us progress in our desires and passions; sometimes they even show us things we did not know about ourselves. Occasionally we decide to pursue those things, thankful for friends that cared enough to show us our new passion. Our friends may not agree with all of our morals or values, but they will respect them because they respect and love us.

The most important and best friendship in our lives is the one we share with God when we become Christians. He always has our best interest in mind and will never leave us. We know we have someone who is always around to help guide us through life, someone who will listen when we talk, not judging us if we screw up, but loving us unconditionally, showing forgiveness always.

When a woman partners together with God, bringing life in the world by, offering, loving, and inviting others to become who they were meant to be, it is then that she is who she is meant to be. She is a true friend. She offers freedom and life to others to be themselves. Friends need to encourage one another, bringing life into people around them.



Works Cited
Eldredge, John and Stasi. Captivating. Nashville: Nelson Impact , 2005.
God. Holy Bible. n.d.

Feb 15, 2010 - Kelly Isner

From First Bloom

In the love poem “Love Should Grow Up Like a Wild Iris in the Fields” by Susan Griffin, she uses the imagery of a wild iris growing freely in a field and the contrasting image of a chaotic house filled with disgruntled people. These two imagines show the vast differences in the first bloom of love and the enduring love of a long term relationship. Though love can come as a surprise like an iris in the field, it grows with careful pruning and nurturing. Leaving love untended, it can become unmanageable and wild.

“Love should grow up like a wild iris in the fields, unexpected, after a terrible storm, opening a purple mouth to the rain, with not a thought to the future.” (Griffin 540) If love was what you thought it should be, it would grow like a wild iris, freely and as it pleased. Love would look as beautiful as an iris after a storm. Love, like the iris, would retain all the rain it could so it could grow and become what it was meant to be. Living without a worry in the world about what is to come and enjoying life one day at a time.
Love, in reality, is found in the everyday, mundane living, in the twenty-four/seven tasks of marriage and family. “Love more often is to be found in kitchens at the dinner hour,
tired out and hungry.” (Griffin 540) Love can also be in the midst of frustration and sometimes anger. “While the cook is probably angry, and the ingredients of the meal are budgeted, while a child cries feed me now.” (Griffin 541) Even when money is tight, children are screaming they are hungry and when mom is at the end of her rope, she must continue to hold on and press through, doing it all in love.

Love, like an old coat, “gets taken to the cleaners every fall” (Griffin 541) and gets into the habit of singing “old songs over and over.” (Griffin 541) Love is found in the repetitive tasks of marriage. No matter how many times it has been done, continuing to do it with love in your heart. Falling “on the same piece of rug that never gets tacked down, gives up, wants to hide, is not brave, knows too much, is not like an iris growing wild but more like staring into space.” (Griffin 541) While continuing to slip on the same slippery slope of temptation to give up on love, one must keep climbing back up and holding on, knowing there will be another slip up ahead but all the while choosing to love one another through it.

Love “comes from the midst of everything else.” (Griffin 541) Love is not free, growing wildly as it pleases in an open field free of worry, it is in the middle of a hectic and crazy day when something happens and you remember why love is present between two people. Even when, “like the iris of an eye, when the light is right, feels in blindness and when there is nothing else is tender, blinks, and opens face up to the skies,” (Griffin 541) love cannot see what lies ahead, it is tender and kind, opening itself up for whatever may come its way. Love, in all its many facets, is as beautiful as the wild iris, but as solid as that kitchen table at the dinner hour.

Oct 29, 2009 - Kelly Isner

I Am

I am daughter, sister, friend, teacher, and girlfriend
I am God follower and lover
I am sunrise, sunset, mountains, and storms
I am dark chocolate ice cream, starbucks, parmesan goldfish, and raspberry tea
I am deep conversations and tears
I am love and compassion
I am kisses, hugs, dancing in the rain, and naps on a rainy day
I am children and swings
I am dreamer and fighter
I am curly hair and blue eyes
I am sign language and photography
I am monkeys and lighthouses
I am trying everyday to become the person I’m meant to be

Aug 30, 2009 - Kelly Isner